Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Been a long couple of days

I violated my own rule and didn't post for two weekdays, so I'll try to catch up a little. For this post, a little background: I am about 1 year after getting divorced. We had owned two dogs together, One of whom died about 5 years ago I think, and the other one who is still living. Arwen was my dog, through and through. If she had a problem, if she needed comfort, in her final months when she had tumors and I was keeping them dressed with bandages every night, it was me she came to. She was truly special to me and when she got to the end and I made the call that we needed to put her down it hit me very hard. Wesley, however, was my wife's dog. He came from abuse from men, so that translated to me especially at first. He bit me quite a few times but he was also loving when he wanted to be, so I put up with it. Many times I got close to wanting him gone, but I let him stay. He got better over the years, but he still had weird little triggers that would get him in trouble because he'd snap and bite.

Unfortunately Wesley has now been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and it's massively aggressive. He has literal weeks left to live. I'm going to go visit him today for a while, just sort-of to say goodbye. But I haven't lived with him for a year so his passing is a little easier for me than Arwen. However it's brought up a lot of memories of when we got to the end of her life and made me sadder than I have been in a while. Her death hit me really hard, especially since I'd been acting as nurse for her for months at that point. I really loved that dog. So while I sympathize with my ex, and I'm having some of those feelings come back, it's not really for this dog it's for MY dog. I'm generally a happy guy, so this has been a departure for me and I'm dealing with it.

No real over arching moral or point here, just sympathy for anyone who has lost a beloved pet, and to say give them as much love as you can because you never know when the time may come that you lose them.

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